Knowing that there are so many things need to be improved in me made me frustrated at the first time. I wished I was a girl with mature, Christ-likeness character. But then I found that I was far from perfect in every single aspect of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have fully confidence that God creates me in His image and I know I’m precious for Him, but this perspective shouldn’t negate the sanction process as His disciple, so I make list of things that should be improved and all dreams for this year.
I bite my lips after writing them all, worry because I think it is impossible to change so many character in me. I doubt with all the goals I make for this year. I’m afraid of being failure. I don’t have any idea what will happen, how many ups and down will fill my life. It will be very sad if I find that my character still will be them same or even getting worse or maybe there are will another unreached dream.
Then I look again the evaluation and failure of mine in the last year and I find a downpour of unending grace fill my life consuming all my reckless ways. With the same grace from God, I can confident enough to believe that He will enable be to be better day by day. Pondering how His way for me is the best one so far, it makes me dare enough to strive for all the plans and dreams. It is because though maybe in this year some of my best effort won’t give me what I want and it will disappoint me, I know the answer “No” from God means protecting for me from less than His best.
So, yeah, I don’t know exactly what I fill face, but as long as You always be with me, it’s more than enough.